Smokin’ a Dominican Churchill and preparin’ a Luxembourg feast

Did you know Mike Ditka has his own line of cigars? I didn’t until I purchased one of Da Coach’s stogies at Arlington Park Race Track in Arlington Heights, Ill. Examining the names of the cigars labeled on the the pull-out shelves in the fancy, glass-door cabinet of the race track’s gift ship, I had no friggin’ clue about which cigar I should choose. I saw “Churchill,” so I immediately decided that puffing smoke like my favorite brandy-imbibing prime minister and making World War II references would be a delightful way to spend my afternoon with friends.

“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender … for if we do, our future generations will not be able to enjoy great television shows such as Monty Python’s Flying Circus and Downton Abbey.” – Winston Churchill

The gift store gave me a complimentary pack of wood matches and a 2008 Kentucky Derby commemorative glass. Why? I’m not sure; there must have been a lot left over, and I guess the women at the counter felt like rewarding cigar-smoking track patrons. After the cashier handed me my bag of goodies, she managed to bang her head on the cash register. I don’t know how she managed to pull off that one, but she was rubbing her head as Mo and I walked out of the shop.

I only made one bet. I put down $2. I won nothing. Gambling is bad. Why? There is no guarantee that one will get a return on his or her investment. With cigars and $2 Miller Lites from the frugal person’s tent away from the expensive bars near the Grandstand, the return on investment is guaranteed: dizziness and some slurred words. I like those odds much better.

Oh, yes, I know … I’ve deviated again from the main topic of this blog. AND I HAVEN’T EVEN BEGUN WITH THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, which, by the way, everyone should see.

I will refrain. But I will shamelessly post a picture of Anne Hathaway.

Anne, you can break into my house and steal my mother’s pearls anytime.

Anyway, back to Luxembourgish business.

I keep procrastinating on my next stage in the process to obtain Luxembourg dual-citizenship. But I’m going to start filling out records-request forms so that I can compile a nice stack of papers to hand to those bastards at the Cook County office in Chicago.

“Don’t give me that smirk,” I’ll snap at those testy bureaucrats in their cushy government jobs. “I will become a state senator just to make sure your pensions are OBLITERATED.”

I have an unreasonable disdain for state and local bureaucracy. I think I need some therapy. (I don’t mean it. I worked for a federal bureaucracy one summer, and the employees actually ran things amazingly smoothly and had unyielding passion for their work.)

In the meantime, I’m planning a Sunday dinner with Luxembourgish dishes. I found a website, worldcook.net, that lists several delectable-sounding dishes. As part of my smorgasbord, I will prepare:

• Fried banana with almonds
• Sauerkraut patties
• Potatoes with wine and cheese
• Bouneschlupp
• Pinot Noir cake
• One big jug of Riesling to wash it all down

I will post pictures of each dish and link to the recipes. These recipes must be legit if all the measurements are in grams. However, this is a royal pain in the arse for an American. But if I’m to become a Luxembourger, I need to understand the metric system.

Luxembourgers of the WordPress world: do you suggest any other traditional dishes?

Äddi!

A rash on my back and other things

Today is Tuesday.

I haven’t worked on my dual-citizenship project recently. In fact, it hasn’t been on my mind much. I’m still pondering my plan of attack. But I’m also busy working on job applications, one of which has much potential and about which I am very excited.

Saturday I went to the Taste of Chicago with Mizzou friends I hadn’t seen in a while. Another thing I saw on Saturday that I hadn’t seen in a while? RAIN.

And thank god it did, Ollie Williams.

On the train ride home, I ate Altoids and read Foreign Policy and Time. FP had a profile on Hillary Clinton, which caters to my reading preferences.

Speaking of Hillz, I forgot to post this onto my Tumblr. Instead, I’ll post it here. Thanks, The New York Times:

Two summers ago, on a Congressional trip to Estonia, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton astonished her traveling companions by suggesting that the group do what one does in the Baltics: hold a vodka-drinking contest.

Delighted, the leader of the delegation, Senator John McCain, quickly agreed. The after-dinner drinks went so well — memories are a bit hazy on who drank how much — that Mr. McCain, an Arizona Republican, later told people how unexpectedly engaging he found Mrs. Clinton to be. “One of the guys” was the way he described Mrs. Clinton, a New York Democrat, to some Republican colleagues.

What happens in Estonia stays in Estonia. Well, until The New York Times finds out about it.

Anyway.

On Sunday I took an impromptu trip to the Wisconsin Dells. My parents had been staying up there with other Eischens for the weekend, and they were going to rent a jet-ski for a couple of hours. Realizing Lake Delton is only a two-hour-and-fifteen-minute ride — much less if you’re speeding like a bat out of hell that doesn’t mind honking at Minnesotans who are only going 5 mph over the speed limit — Cori and I decided to join the family and get in a few minutes of watercraft fun.

When I took off my shirt to put on a life preserver, my mom spotted a crazy rash on my back.

This is not the telescopic view of a planet’s surface.

YOU DIDN’T THINK I’D POST A PICTURE OF IT?! This blog is true life; it’s “for realz.” It’s no sh!t but super legit. Y’all get over yourselves. Any doctors from Luxembourg, or other nations, who can tell me what’s growing on my back?

I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that green soda when I toured Oscorp last week.

This is a considerably uneventful week. Maybe I can accomplish something with my project. I can also pump out some more job applications.

I almost forgot. I am seeing this: