Am I a criminal???

Was J. Edgar Hoover a Luxembourger?

Was J. Edgar Hoover a Luxembourger?

I just sent in a request for my criminal background check in Luxembourg. I’ve never stepped a single foot in Europe, and I don’t evade paying Uncle Sam in capital gains taxes because of this:

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Hopefully my record in the Grand Duchy is clean.

Now I’m about to head out the door and get my fingerprints at the Metropolitan Police Department’s headquarters. It’s part of the FBI background check I’ll send out in the mail later today.

And then I wait to get both back … knowing the federal bureaucracies of Luxembourg and the United States, I will probably get the Luxembourg background check back significantly quicker. Also, instead of having to pay $18 for the FBI rap sheet, I’ll have paid nothing for the Luxembourg one.

According to a visitor to this blog, he received his Luxembourg criminal report covered in glitter.

“I don’t really understand why but yes the back of the piece of paper is covered in two trails of glitter.”

Vermin Supreme is pro-Luxembourg.

Luxembourg really must be an enchanting place.

More to come, and sorry to those whose emails I haven’t responded. I will get on that tonight!

Äddi!

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One thought on “Am I a criminal???

  1. Hey, check out this week’s episode of the Simpsons. Snake Jailbird, the recidivist criminal, robs Luxembourg when the entire country goes to Brazil for the World Cup soccer match. I guess the joke being that Luxembourg is so tiny.

    Hope you get your criminal record checks in a timely fashion. I’ll have to get on that fast if I receive my certificat.

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